twisting

when the memory of her is too much,
try to go to sleep

in bed it gets worse,
memories rush across the backs of your eyelids
you wish she were breathing, lying, sleeping
next to you

heart not torn in two but
hammered into a tiny dense lump;
the feeling never seems to end…
shut your eyes to force yourself unconscious,
remembering
her words, laugh, eyes, touch

you’d think after so long
you could see her again and not
have your heart leap out of your body,
but there it is, twisting on the sheets
trying to get comfortable.