skinfeel

I hope it rains soon
so I can stop feeling
my heart swell up in my throat
so I can stop wanting to cry
so I can be a hero
because I continue to live
shaking each moment loose from the next
claiming each breath
as a source of pride

if it was raining I could listen
to the rush of water on my window
watch the world become a puddle
I would want to go outside
tap my fingers on wet leaves
feel the trickle of water on
the backs of my ears
stand and listen and try to imagine
each raindrop as it hits the ground

but it’s not raining
and I am a coward
I stay inside my dry skin of clothes
numb