reality

I pretended
that it was too dark
to hear

because I knew
and you didn’t ask;
your lips on mine made more sense
my hand was welcome on your thighs
the air was heavy
oppressive
your skin was
trembling
and real

I almost stayed awake
wondering
but it was too late
what now had come and gone
and if you had asked
I would have lied
anyway

in the morning
I remembered the whisper
the protest
the no
and pretending to be deaf
won’t save us now