caged

just when I think
I've got the little monster
locked up, blocked out and
shut down

she walks by with that guy

and I throw the key to the monster
now he's rampaging
in my guts
swinging from my spinal cord
throwing red paint
around in my heart

I've got a stranglehold
on my expression
so all it can do is
smile

beast

I dream of the beast inside me
with a face like a man
but with a mouthful of broken fingers
and eyes like steel and frozen mud
It cradles a child in white
gently, tenderly holding it by its heel
in a river of blood and tears
I dream that the child is crying
as its eyes are washed away
there is a scream stuck in my throat
lashed down under layers of fear

I dream of the child inside me
hidden in the belly of an armored beast
with a face like a man

letter

If I were to write a letter to You
inkspots and all
I would have to start by saying
gee it's been a long time
(of course you never called or wrote)
I'm doing okay
( I died when you said you didn't love me)
how are you?
(who gives a shit?)
The bloody thumbprint is just me
trying to stop the pain
the watermarks aren't tears
I just spilled some water
actually, I wrote this
about a month ago
I just don't know where the fuck
you are
Anyway hope I (don't) hear from you
soon...